A Vegas Trip…Episodically
I wrote out this trip report and then realized it was so long and boring because I ranted about an early flight and bad customer service for like two pages. So, I deleted it and decided to go back and take a different approach… Vegas occurs really as a blur…so here’s the blur.
Wednesday, May 25 – Checking In The Newbies
Early flight. Up at 3 am, flight at 6 am…no sleep on the plane…headache…Advil…vodka. Better…
Used Bell Trans VIP Share a Ride… “we can share a ride with our friends” – I should have said, “please send a limo that seats four comfortably” – we got a sedan and a rude driver…a sedan…for four people. I had to sit in the front…after I moved her damp water bottle, cleaned the seat and threw some papers on the floor. VIP. INDEED.
Check newbie couple into Cosmo fountain view terrace. This is their first trip to Vegas. First Vegas hotel. RUINED. FOR. LIFE. It’s their 10th anniversary gift from us. Because you know, giving up Cosmo is a GIFT. …we stayed at Bellagio and for the first time in a bazillion stays got a lakeview room. My wife watched all the shows…with that TV station that plays the music…all the shows watched.
There was a bit of a loss of time while I waited with the noobs to check them into Cosmo…I played some freeplay. TED is my new best friend!
I then lost for the rest of the trip. It was nice knowing you $2000…
I played at Bellagio while my wife smartly took a nap after we enjoyed the Bellagio buffet. The bread pudding still makes me stupid it’s so good. A man dropped a plate. It broke. He looked at the ground, took a new plate, and left the broken plate. Next time I’ll take your picture so we can all sneer and judge you.
Thursday, May 26 – Pancake Coma & A Freezing Pool
Ate pancakes at Café Bellagio. If you need pancakes and aren’t Downtown for DuPars, go here. Pancake coma achievable fo sho.
Today we went to the pool. Okay, Bellagio…heat your pools…all of them. Because frigid frozen fun is not a thing. It was 90 degrees outside and like -4000000 degrees in the pools. Also, expand the Cypress Premier Lounge (aka pool with entrance guardians) – I will pay for the fancy chairs. I’m guessing most people who can Bellagio (it’s a verb), will pay for the fancy chairs. I feel like if you PLANNED, you could GROW PROFIT. Second thought, I’ll take the free chairs… So back to the original rambling, frozen fruity boozy drinks…that’s a thing. At $24 a pop, it was only 3 rounds of things, but the goal of pre-noon drunkiness was achieved.
I had $400 in freeplay thanks to the Bellagio offer and MyVegas redemptions. I played VP. The guy behind me, who we’ll call “bro, I ain’t never played this before” hit 4 aces on DDB…$5 machine…and was mad because his friend tricked him into playing it…”I thought it was nickels, bro! *hits friend* damn bro, I could have lost so much money, bro!” – but you didn’t…you won thousands…bro.
An Asian man that smelled like chlorine and BO asked me for a cigarette. Actually, we’ll call him “give me cigarette…you kind”. For the purpose of brevity, let’s just say I became the character of “do you know how much these cost? 16 dollars. That’s how much. Go away! Shoo!” – I may have done crazy hands as I said all of this…crazy hands is a special Introvert-necessary skill. You flail your hands about as if, well, crazy…it keeps most people away. Try it. You’re welcome. (credit to Noahcat for crazy hands…)
ANYWHO…freeplay became $200. I have had the worst luck with freeplay…but still $200.
We took a nap. Four hours of sleep…first four hours of sleep since TUESDAY…because Vegas.
Went to the new Human Nature show.
This show, Jukebox, is just as good if not better than the original. There’s a boy band section…you must go if not just for the boy band section. There are also lots of tight pants…I mean, if you want to see some Australian guys in tight pants, this is your show! …but they also sing…and do a good job – cover music from many decades and many genres…everyone can find something to enjoy.
OH! The newbies had a show tonight too…Blue Man Group. I told them not to do it. Some people might enjoy it but we did not like it. It tries too hard to be clever. But they did. Or, they bought tickets at Tix4Tonight (as advised…because never pay full price for any show in Vegas…ever). And, because they also had not slept since Tuesday decided to take a nap. I called and texted them to see if they knew where they’re going…no answer… head over to our show…text again…text after OUR show… oh, 1030 pm comes and I receive a response… “we just got up” – missed the show. The kind folks at the show let them trade in their vouchers for Friday night’s show… fast forward to Friday…they hated it. SEE? I told you.