Shall we dance? – in Atlantic City, perhaps
I finally made it to Atlantic City. I have gone to Vegas 3-8 times a year for the last two decades. I have gone to the other gamblin’ hubs like Biloxi, Tunica (RIP), and even Laughlin (RIP…oh wait that was just the general feeling of near death-ness there). But I finally made it to the East Coast mecca. I needed to get there and opportunity presented itself…in February.
I GET IT. Not the right time for Atlantic City. …but it’s always the right time to GAMBOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!
I’ll get to the point…and we’ll do it in a dance…a Two-Step if you will. Two sides of every story and such…
(…we can have lots of fun…you know you were thinking it…wrong type of dance, folks)
I actually don’t know how to Two Step. I am indeed Texan. Born and raised. Did all the college here. Own boots but no hat. Definitely don’t have a horse. But what I do know is that I like casinos. Here’s my first slap in the face about Atlantic City. It’s not Vegas.
I was a bit disappointed. People warned me. I went with my BFF John (other BFF, don’t get all jealous…). He’s from Jersey and Philly. I also was a little down on Philly. Cheesesteaks…AMAZING. Pretzels…purty good. Wawa…HEAVEN. …but calm down, you’re not Buc-ee’s.
Atlantic City – NOT the same as Vegas
The casinos are not the same as Vegas. We stayed at Borgata and Harrah’s Resort Atlantic City. Visited others. I don’t like the random smoking sections. I swear the smoking sections had the old non-interesting machines. Vegas has a buzz most of the time. AC was sipping decaf coffee with a smidge of Malibu. Customer service was nowhere.
Maybe it’s the accents but people sounded angry. I said “y’all” and the Starbucks barista said “what was that?” shhhhhhh… and oh, I had a run in with an angry lesbian…
So, the conversation goes:
“My girlfriend is sitting there.”
“Ma’am (Texan…), that’s a purse (a really ugly purse…)”
“She’ll be back.”
“Oh ok…” (start to walk away…rolling eyes)
(and walk back…) “I’m sorry?! I’ll sit on the purse.”
“You should be sorry you shithead asking to sit there when it’s clearly saved. WAIT, you’ll what??”
(slow and intentional) “I – SAID – I – WILL – SIT – ON – YOUR – PURSE.” I then said some not nice things to her and ended with “Enjoy your stay.”
…and knocked the purse off the chair…and yelled “Security!”
Security was standing nearby and watched the altercation. She kinda smiled at me and said “Are you staying here? Maybe take a room break. …(whispers) she’s being a bitch to everyone.”
WELCOME TO NEW JERSEY!
There really is so much we can do. I liked the boardwalk. But I’m not a beach person. And also it was cold AF…as the kids say. But I will come back when it’s warmer. I live in Houston. New Orleans wins first place for worst Summers. But Houston is a real close 2nd. So as much as people say the Summer here is rough, I like the 100-teens in Vegas so add some humidity and I’m HOME…with gambling.
I enjoyed the Hard Rock and Ocean. Hard Rock is busy and bright and has good games in the smoking sections. We got a good card match with John and had all sorts of free play and a buffet with a line pass. The buffet was…not awesome. But FREE so it was my favorite for that hour.
Ocean belongs in Vegas. They need to close up some of that open space. I like a roomy casino but this was cavernous. That escalator is stupid big and when you’re with a friend with an escalator phobia, it adds a fun carnival ride slash massive anxiety experience to the entry. What happens if one of those breaks down? I’m not walking my fat ass up those stairs!
I met the East Coast people! I. LOVE. CoachKitty ! She was sick but you know when you meet people and they are just dripping (nasal-y) with good energy. That’s her. We didn’t talk much but I think we’ll be forever friends. I’m ordering those key and lock jewelry sets for us.
Michael Trager held a mini suite gathering as he packed…meticulously…in many bags…so many bags…small bags and big bags and small bags that went into big bags. It was masterful. And we all talked and I met people that I had “known” for decades but now had the pleasure to actually meet. And it was snowing outside and beautiful. And I got sparkly fun in a bottle. And…well, it was nice.
We drove around AC the last night before heading to Philly and the town is sad. I got to hear lots of “that used to be this” or “man that place was awesome but now evidently it’s a titty bar”.
Atlantic City – We’re dancing here
I want Atlantic City to find its second wind. I want it to succeed. I can see and feel the effort but what is going to be enough to flip that switch and bring back the buzz I heard about? I saw a casino and hotel or two that were closed. No lights. Dark. Sad. I want those rebooted. I want the city to get a nice powerwash. And I will be back. And I will help. But damn it, move your f’n purse. We’re dancing here.
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